3. The “Village” it Takes is Something We Make

Hey Everyone,

I just went camping with six families, including eight children between the ages of nine months and six years old. To my surprise, it was an incredibly smooth and relaxing time. We looked out for each other's kids, who played well together, and were careful about rattlesnakes and campfire safety.

This was our first time taking our son camping. The organizers of this trip had years of camping experience with little ones, and the right equipment to keep people comfortable and well-fed. We learned a lot from our friends’ setup and resonated with their low-key adventure vibes.

In a way, it was most comforting that the day-to-day parenting woes of raising young kids were on display for all to see. Every family in our makeshift village had them in common, which was normalizing in a way that helped us all relax.

So often, we think we're the only ones going through a particular struggle with our children. Much of it plays out in closed spaces, like our homes or our cars, where we can't see other families working out the exact same things.

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Welcome to Yoga for Mom-Life. I’m your host, Susana Jones, and I help Moms with kids under 5 who have a hard time tending to their well-being because everyone else’s needs come first. 

I offer helpful perspective and ways to make good use of limited time with therapeutic yoga for a happier, and more vibrant Motherhood.

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So, multiple people on this trip stated how reassuring it was to see other kids having tantrums over snacks, or parents copping a tone while reaching the end of their rope.

Interestingly, these mini-dramas had a way of canceling each other out. There was a constant buzz of kid activity until nightfall, but it was also totally manageable in a place where they could roam around, get dirty, and have extra grown-ups there for help when they needed it.

I saw every child on this trip engage in some solo play. They were content, poking around like free range chickens. Well in the zone, I imagine they hit the sweet spot of calm wakefulness that happens when our brainwaves enter the alpha state. 

I’m learning in an ecopsychology course how brainwaves respond to the planet’s biomagnetic field, known as the Shumann resonance, when our bodies make physical contact with the Earth. This electromagnetic frequency of long, slow waves is relaxing in an attentive way, enhances learning, and helps integrate body and mind (Kozłowski and Marciak-Kozlowska, 2015,p. 199).

While my body got a serious workout from carrying gear and our surprisingly tall 3 year-old on hilly terrain, my mind was noticeably more calm during this trip. At home, I often experience the opposite, in which my body is more stagnant, and I’m prone to overwhelm. For me, this seems to be a fact of life-spent-indoors, which I’ve done a lot of in recent years since I became pregnant in early 2020.

While walking on the outskirts of camp, I looked up to see only Nature around me, and it took my breath away. The view of distant boulders and trees at Golden Hour, with red wildflowers dotting the sagebrush, brought me this feeling of euphoria. It felt like Yoga with a “capital Y”, a state of total oneness with Nature. 

It soothes me just thinking about it.

This was the perfect antidote to staying busy in the built-environment where I live, work, and play most of the time. For the kids especially, I can only imagine how good it was for their wildness to have their bare feet on the Earth, instead of in shoes; to cool off under the shade of an Oak grove, instead of the AC; to eat dinner outside by a crackling fire, instead of under LEDs, and to be watchful for animals we wouldn’t want to disturb, rather than cars.

I felt my own brain shift into this different context when it was time to fix the family-style meal I’d volunteered for. Glancing from a pyramid of foil-wrapped corns on the cob to the extinguished firepit where I’d set out to cook them, a helpful witness came to my rescue. 

Our new friend, a Naval specialist replied to my look of asking “but how?” with the good sense that if we built a fire now, it would die down in 30 minutes so that the corn would cook well over the hot coals. 

Then one of the Dads got an incredible fire started in like 3 minutes.

Knowing my part was coming up next, I tied my hair back, put on long sleeves and closed-toe shoes like the Girl Scouts taught me to do when I was 9, I grabbed my metal tongs and enlisted the help of my husband. 

While he cooked those corns on the cob to perfection, I readied the stick of butter to slather on the finished product, and opened up the rest of our contribution: catering from Mendocino Farms. 

I get the irony of bringing fancy food to a camping trip, but that curried cous cous, and caesar salad with avocado tasted GOOD on a tin plate with fire-roasted corn on the cob and baked beans. As you can imagine.

So while Bodhi scrambled with his buddy while his Mom watched, concerned members of our little village saved dinner, and we all ate very well that night.

I think about how many times I’ve been home in a moment that’s somewhere between an uncertainty and an emergency, where I could really use some help that’s not there. It’s really hard to do the organic, communal work of raising an infant into a healthy toddler with so few people around. 

We do our best, and keep going, ‘cause that’s our best option, but man, is it nice when it doens’t all fall on Mom, or the preferred parent, or the designated care person for that time. 

So, for us, multi-family camping is something we’re eager to do again, especially with a group as easygoing as this one. 

To be in Nature, where there's so much novelty for playing, engaging the senses, and being mindful of our surroundings for different reasons than usual, was grounding in a way that I simply cannot replicate at home.

Having the kids be immersed in the terrain and focused on their little missions around camp took pressure off of my husband and I to continually oversee our son’s playtime. The presence of watchful adults kept everyone safe, so parents could tend to things as needed without rushing. 

This trip opened me up to the power of the collective, where the stress we feel while raising little humans in our homes dissipates in the presence of people who get it and know how to help when it’s needed. 

People often say that “it takes a village,” but how many of us are actually part of one? Even if you’re connected to the community where you live, and get together with other families with young children, it takes a coordinated effort to share the experience of raising little ones with others.

And, my friends, we need it. Parents need it for reassurance and the extra sets of hands, and our kids need it to open their minds and engage with something bigger than their family unit. 

Being outside as a “village,” even for an afternoon, conveys massive benefits for our health, which lighten the load of early motherhood. We all need that grounding connection to the biomagnetic field that sustains life and helps us be well (Kozłowski and Marciak-Kozlowska, 2015, p. 197).

This time of year between Spring and Summer might be a perfect opportunity to make Nature time a regular occurrence for your family.

So whether you’re more inclined to brave a multi-family camping trip, or slip off your shoes and share some snacks on a blanket for a playdate at your local park, the “village” it takes to raise a child is something you make. Gather some folks, bring something to share, and let Nature do the rest.

Now, I’d love to know, what kind of village are you making these days? How does your family tap into the collective power of community and Nature? 

Please, share your experience, and come get inspired in our podcast forum at yogaformomlife.com.

Thanks for listening and sharing this show with the Moms you love. Tune in next Tuesday, AKA Suzday.

It’s Yoga for Mom-Life, and it’s about time.

References

Kozłowski, M., Marciak-Kozlowska, J. (2015). Schumann resonance and brain waves: A quantum description. NeuroQuantology. 13(2), p. 196-204. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/281316806_Schumann_Resonance_and_Brain_Waves_A_Quantum_Description