18. An Inter-Holiday Reset
Hey Everyone,
Thanksgiving is happening next week, if you can believe it, and I’m still finding Halloween creatures in dark corners of my house. Meanwhile, my son’s been out of school with a chest cold this week, and there’s a giant turkey straight at me from my neighbors yard.
My group chat with friends this week says it all, OK?. A dear friend made an honest plea for emotional support days after a bomb-cyclone hit Washington state, which left her multigenerational family, three young kids, and fully-stocked fridge without power. Somehow this led to joking about becoming trad-wives?
A couple friends expressed their exasperation over the “Man Flu”, while another confessed to putting Zarbees and Tylenol into her daughter’s smoothie and sending her to school despite having a cold. It’s all wrapped in reassurance, and tied up with a cartoon clip of Wonder Woman, which I found embarrassingly motivating.
So these are my muses for this week’s episode, and I love them for keeping it so real.
Welcome to Yoga for Mom-Life. I’m Susana Jones, and I help lighten the load of early motherhood. With practical wisdom and minimalist yoga on-demand, being a Mom of young kids looks and feels more like thriving. Join the waitlist for my winter season of online yoga at YogaforMomLife.com, and you’ll receive a printable practice that gives you a warm glow from within.
So, the kinds of things Moms everywhere are going through this week
makes me think that maybe this time of year is so ridiculous that it can bring us some much-needed zen.
Perhaps a trainwreck-of-a-week (or a month) can actually help us let go, and enjoy the ride, like an unsolvable riddle that opens the mind to pure being.
We know the toll that four months of holidays have had on us in the past. At the time of year when nature would have us wind down, we find ourselves super spread-thin and maxed-out.
But hey, finding ourselves at all is a step in the right direction.
And so are these 5 steps to replenish and thrive as a Mom over the holidays:
Know that you’re at choice
As to how big, how expensive, how social, and how involved your holiday season is. Do nothing begrudgingly. You can use Mark Manson’s motto of “F-Yes, or No.” when deciding what to put your time and energy into.
We might add please and thank you since we’re modeling manners for tiny humans, but make choices that you feel good about.
Treat your senses to being fully present
Take in the goodness around you as the holidays unfold. Savor the Thanksgiving meal. Soak in the hues of autumn leaves. Feel that crisp morning air, and enjoy the aroma of a hot drink.
Hear the little voices expressing wonder at their first lucid Hannukah or Christmas. Relish at the pop of a champagne bottle. Notice how all of these sensory impressions bring you something delightful for your body and mind.
Our five senses and the emotions and memories they convey are like a bridge between the mind and the body, the past, and the present. Stroll across that bridge, and notice the simple magic of what’s around you, and within you.
This, to me, makes a happy holiday.
Embrace the letdown
Because like every magnatile tower, what goes up must come down. The aftermath of a holiday with young children requires some serious spatial and emotional cleanup. After all the excitement and sugar, travel, and merriment, letdown happens for everyone.
So let’s embrace it. Take it as a cue to slow your roll and get back to the basics - food, rest, exercise, warmth, water.
Don’t internalize the mess.
When the healthy activities you usually rely upon to be so gorgeous and resilient get interrupted by holiday busy-ness, you might find yourself more vulnerable to thinking that your undone house, or your child’s meltdowns are a reflection of you as a mother. They are not.
Don’t internalize the mess. If the mess is tangible, either pack it away with a passion and some upbeat tunes on, or enlist the help of family. This year, my four year-old is ready to see decorations go away after a few weeks, and he’s not only helping me take stuff down this year, he’s actually keeping it in the box so it can be put away until next year. Huge sigh of relief here.
So harness the possibility that your family is ready to see that stuff go, and maybe even give them the task of taking it down so you can replenish your body and mind.
Embrace the lull
This is key. Because the holidays come one after another, the cycle repeats itself. There’s planning and preparation, enjoying the holiday itself, taking care of your kids, and dealing with work. There’s the aftermath, and the take down. And then quiet time again.
As long as we get that quiet time in, and we embrace the lull between, say, Thanksgiving and Christmas, the rest of this year can flow smoothly with you moving between being productive, and then kicking back to enjoy it with a warm mug in your hands.
The transition between Halloween and Thanksgiving was pretty tough this year for a lot of us. I think Fall is the most challenging season for Moms, because everything is busy, from kids’ sports, to sicknesses, work demands, and LIFE, and it all happens in the same 2-3 months starting with back-to-school.
So, feeling refreshed between one holiday and the next could look like two things:
Getting warm and cozy
Yes, while snuggling with your little one, and yes in a cozy chair, under a blanket with some adaptogenic tea.
But also, move your body to get warm and cozy. Why? Because muscles and joints get frigid and cranky this time of year. Things like yoga, pilates, a Peloton ride or a brisk walk warm your muscles, hydrate your joints, and release tension.
You know all this. I’m just putting it into context for you at a time of year when Moms need all the help we can get.
So, getting warm and cozy starts on the inside.
If the outside is too chilly for you to get started, take a warm shower, and then move your body. Because if you’re really frozen, that warm shower or bath will make it so much more appealing to do those hip-openers and stretches for your back that you’re body’s been asking for.
If you really wanna coze-it-up, light a candle before you do some yoga, etc. I know that’s an extra step, and my whole thing is minimalist yoga, but it’s the holidays and you probably have an unused candle in your place anyway. So light it up, and let it remind you of your own, inner brilliance.
And Lastly, Meet the Mood You’re in
As this season continues to unfold, you might not always know what to do with yourself, or how to spend your family’s time off together. In moments like these, choosing an activity that honors your mood can really help.
Say you’re restless, and won’t be able to relax until your home is tidy. Use that anxious energy to make a more harmonious space where you can intentionally decompress.
Or, say you’re moving like molasses one day and everything feels difficult. Honor the fatigue, and make rest your first priority. This will make those looming tasks much easier to accomplish.
Meeting the mood is paradoxical. By doing something active or upbeat when we’re feeling anxious, we can unwind more easily later. By moving slowly when you’re lethargic, you can build up to having more energy.
Conclusion
So much of what I have to share with you comes down to being energy efficient with ourselves. We can hustle without stressing. We can relax without giving up. The means for balancing the two are already within you.
I hope that knowing this enjoy your Thanksgiving and the rest of this intense and beautiful season. I am so grateful to you for encouraging my growth this year, and for living the vision of maternal resilience in your own life.
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Thanks for tuning in, and for sharing this show with the Mamas you love. It’s Yoga for Mom-Life. And it’s about time.
